


The "Worst Halloween In Sasuke's Life" Incident

by SasukeUzumaki



Series: The Incidents: Naruto and Sasuke's Strange Relationship Milestones [10]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Fools, I'm full of angst, M/M, Sasuke's side of the story, also I couldn't sleep without typing this, aren't you spoiled?, hopefully this is okay, t for language, you thought i wouldn't bring angst to this series?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-31
Updated: 2018-05-31
Packaged: 2019-05-16 11:19:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14810376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SasukeUzumaki/pseuds/SasukeUzumaki
Summary: Sasuke's life was not glamorous in the least bit. He had been repeatedly expelled from schools, he went on uncontrollable rants all the time, he felt betrayed, abandoned, distanced himself from the world. In a desperate attempt to reconnect with the world he cursed after his brother passed, he entered the world of teaching, where he met Naruto, the only person Sasuke had ever felt truly compatible with. This follows Sasuke's reasoning for falling for the blond.





	The "Worst Halloween In Sasuke's Life" Incident

**Author's Note:**

> No angst? In a story of mine? Unheard of in multi chapters or series. You're all now plagued by my angst.
> 
> I'm trying to follow my continuity. Not gonna lie, I skimmed the others to try to fit this in. Someone wanted Sasuke's back story, here it is, in all it's angsty glory.
> 
> This explains Suigetsu, the ranting, the Halloween, his obsession with the name / weird spellings of Rosemary, and the reason he's in love with / obsessed with Naruto.
> 
> I hope that you manage to like this piece of trash. I couldn't sleep until I typed it. It's 5am now. Fun.

Breathe, Sasuke, breathe.

Sasuke looked on with well concealed acute horror. Yup, they were most definitely fucked up. Plastic sporks, man.

“What in the hell happened here?” The principal asked loudly.

“I uh…” Sasuke panicked.

“What happened?” Another teacher approached Sasuke.

“Um…” Sasuke looked down at the spork in his hand. “There was a… an escaped convict. And he uh… dug a tunnel under the cafeteria, but he surprisingly can reverse time in a single spot! And he uh, covered the hole, and the spork –“

“What happened.”

“Well, he used this spork to –“

“What happened.” The teacher said more aggressively.

“Uh, just, the spork –“

“Uchiha.”

Sasuke began to hyperventilate.

“I just, the spork –“

They were calling an ambulance. The principal looked at Sasuke angrily.

“We will be discussing this.”

“Please, don’t call Itachi.” Sasuke begged.

“You leave me no choice.”

Sasuke looked down at the spork.

“He used the spork to dig out, and he’s framing me.” He mumbled. He wasn’t going to cry, except he already was.

* * *

“He leaves me no choice, Mr. Uchiha.”

Itachi sighed. He looked beside him at Sasuke.

“Please, just another chance.” Itachi said.

“No. He’s had enough. As far as I know, he should be in an institution.”

Itachi looked at his brother, huddled in his chair.

“I just think he needs to find the right environment. This isn’t it.”

* * *

Sasuke felt absolutely pitiful. He cried silently as Itachi let him into the car.

“I’m sorry.”

Itachi sighed softly.

“I didn’t mean to.”

“I know, Sasuke.”

Sasuke fiddled with his hands.

“What happened, Sasuke?”

“Um… well, there were these guys, okay? And they uh, jumped through the window! The fricking window! And that’s some thick stuff, you know? And well, uh… yeah, they told me it was a magic spork, and they said I could be, like, a hero or something. They’d have to change my name to Jacinto, though. And uh… the spork turned, you know? And it stabbed the guy, not me, definitely not me, never in my life would I stab someone.”

Itachi waited until Sasuke quieted down.

“What happened.”

Sasuke looked down.

“I stabbed him.”

Itachi nodded.

“Yeah, he was being really mean to this girl.”

“We’re running out of schools, Sasuke.”

“I know, I didn’t mean to get expelled.”

“You never do.”

Sasuke frowned.

“I’m sorry I’m here.”

“Don’t be, Sasuke,” Itachi patted his shoulder gently, “I’m glad you are.”

Sasuke wasn’t glad he was.

* * *

“Unfortunately, given the circumstances and his previous incident, we’ve made the decision that Konoha High can’t serve someone of… Sasuke’s situation.”

Itachi sighed.

“Alright, thank you.”

Itachi looked over at Sasuke as they exited the school.

“What happened?” Itachi asked.

“Well, there was this talking horse, alright? And it was, uh, selling drugs? I think, I only heard rumors. I never saw the horse myself, but I’ll take their word for it. Anyways, well this horse knew dark magic, and it possessed the teacher. He started speaking in tongues, and I was only trying to fend him off, you know? And I had a spork! So I told him to back off!”

“What happened?”

Sasuke frowned.

“I threatened him with a spork. I didn’t stab him this time, I promise!”

“Sasuke.”

“I know, I know, we’re running out of schools. I know. I’ve heard it before.” Sasuke mumbled the last part as he entered the car.

* * *

“Itachi, I miss Rosemarie.”

Itachi turned to his brother. They were in the kitchen, Itachi was cooking dinner.

“She’s in a better place now, Sasuke.”

“No place can be better than the fish tank! It’s so big and roomy and I’m a great fishie mama!” Sasuke complained.

“Sasuke – “

“The Rosemary’s are going to miss their cousin.”

Itachi looked at the food he was cooking. He honestly didn’t know if Sasuke could tell all of his fish apart, or if that’s why he named them all Rosemary, the name of their old cat.

“They’ll make more, Sasuke.”

“But – but you _can’t_ replace Rosemarie!” Sasuke whined. “You can’t replace something that’s dead!”

“I’m well aware of that, Sasuke.”

Sasuke choked up.

“I’m sorry that I’m so… you know. I just that, I’m sorry. I’m sorry you have to take care of me.”

“You’re fine, Sasuke.”

“No one will ever like me. I’m too weird.”

“You just have to find someone compatible.”

Sasuke groaned.

“No one is.”

“You’ll find someone. Dinner’s done.”

Sasuke frowned.

“Rosemarie better be in a better place. I’d say I’d sue you for all you’re worth if she didn’t, but you’re not worth a stale potato chip, and I think I’d lose more in legal bills than what I’d get out of it, so I will refrain from doing so. You’re welcome.”

Itachi rolled his eyes.

“Dinner, Sasuke.”

“Fine.”

* * *

“You should eat it.”

“No!” Sasuke looked at Suigetsu in disgust.

“Come on, Sasuke, it’ll be good.”

Sasuke looked at the lunch the school had provided.

“The food looks like it’s sick.”

“Try it.”

Sasuke growled softly. Fucking Suigetsu and his weird suggestions. He ended up sick for two days after consuming the “food”.

* * *

They were currently in a circle playing “never have I ever”. Sasuke had somehow been invited to the Halloween party, the one everyone was talking about. Though he had shown disinterest, he was excited. No one invited him anywhere. Well, Suigetsu had invited him, but at least he had someone there.

Sasuke came as a human trashcan. He had always wondered if people could pull that off. He was fond of the idea, feeling like trash whilst simultaneously cleaning the world of other trash. Destroying himself to help others. Not glamorous, but human trashcans are essential to saving the… okay, so they’re not actually a thing, but Sasuke could dream, right?

“Never have I ever fucked up so bad that attempting to drink alcohol for the first time ended up with a toaster thrown out of the window.”

Sasuke glared at Suigetsu.

“Sasuke, haven’t you done that?” Suigetsu said with mock innocence.

“I will end you, Suigetsu. Besides, you _made_ me do that.” Sasuke grumbled.

Suigetsu wasn’t the greatest friend, but he was something. Sasuke had always tried to grasp onto the somethings in his life.

When he entered the kitchen to get a breather, he didn’t mean to break a mug. He stared at it in horror. Here it came, the anger, the raised voice, the knowledge that he was in trouble.

“What was that?” The host came in after him. “What happened?”

“Well, uh, you see, they installed this update on dishes –“

“Did you break that?”

“No, see, they made them so they –“

“Shut the fuck up. Did you break it?”

Sasuke couldn’t breathe. They wouldn’t let him fucking finish.

“I just, you gotta hear me out, man –“

“Get out.”

Gladly. Sasuke left quickly. He wasn’t fond of crying in front of people anyways. If they had let him finish, he could’ve explained himself. He would’ve, he just had to… explain, before he explained.

“Why do you do that?” Suigetsu followed him out.

“What?” Sasuke bit out. “Do what.”

“The whole ranting thing?”

“Mom. She told me stories to calm me down, and she’s not here to tell me stories, is she? So I have to.”

Suigetsu gave him a look.

“Have you ever tried, I don’t know, not doing it?”

Sasuke looked at him incredulously.

“I can’t!”

And here Sasuke was, the first human trashcan (that he’d heard of), crying, like the piece of trash he felt like.

“I think you should try harder.”

* * *

Sasuke did try harder… to distance himself. From everyone.

He took a fast track to graduate early. He didn’t bother walking. He started college – online. Obviously, the world wasn’t prepared to deal with him.

He drowned himself in his studies, earning multiple degrees. He studied anything and everything, just to keep his mind off the world. His brother was by his side.

Until he wasn’t.

Itachi, that stubborn bastard. Pneumonia was a bitch, especially if you didn’t want to go to the doctor. Sasuke should’ve known something was off when he hadn’t seen his sibling in a while, but he wasn’t expecting to lose him.

Sasuke was moved to get a degree in education. He needed something, anything, anyone to fill the void he now held. He had no one. He wanted to be someone that people could look up to, that could maybe help weird kids like himself. He just prayed that they could handle him.

* * *

Sasuke was a… handful, to say the least. The teachers were a little wary of associating themselves with him besides work related contact. He was a little robotic in his ways. He was kind of rude, too.

Sasuke tried desperately to not be thrown out. He shoved each and every emotion down. He couldn’t let people know how crazy he was, he couldn’t lose this.

* * *

When Naruto had entered the school, something… shifted, for Sasuke. Suddenly someone would talk to him, seemed to tolerate him, _like_ him, if Sasuke was being nice to himself in his thinking. Nice. Something he hadn’t had in a long time.

It was the first rant he did in front of the blond. That rant he couldn’t help. He could even hear himself over the fear of pushing the blond away, but he couldn’t find it in himself to stop. Naruto watched him calmly.

“Sasuke.” He said softly throughout. Sasuke couldn’t stop.

Naruto lightly grasped Sasuke’s arms.

“Breathe, Sasuke. You’re okay.”

It was then, that moment, looking at Naruto’s caring eyes even as his ranting trailed off, that did Sasuke in. He finally, finally found someone compatible. Just like Itachi said he would.

Hopefully Rosemarie was in a better place, too, along with the rest of the Rosemary’s, or Sasuke would perform a seance to sue him from beyond the grave.


End file.
